The Name Game

Part of the fun of working at an English school is giving new students their English nicknames. It makes taking roll a lot easier for us non-Korean speakers and injects an element of fun for the kids who get to have an alias.

We've got "Annas," "Alices," "Jennys," "Johns," "Toms," and "Ryans" in spades. The foreign teachers enjoy evoking our loved ones from home by giving students their names. If you're reading this blog, you probably have a little Korean student named after you.

However, Western names are not without their problems. Koreans can't distinguish between the "r" and the "l," so the "Ryans" are calling themselves "Lion" most of the time. "Lizzy" has been "Rizzy" for the last three years. "Rosalie" thought her name was "Rosary" for the longest time. And God bless the child I named "Lauren." The combination of "l" and "r" is just too much to handle.

Koreans also don't have the "f," "v" or "z" sounds. Instead, they default to the "p," "b" and "j" sounds respectively, which has resulted in several "Pranks," "Binces," "Preds," and "Bickys." And we're never quite sure if some kids are named "Jack" or "Zack." And this has nothing to do with names, but I'm constantly reminding the kids that we visit the "zoo," not the "Jew." Oy.

Many of us try to inject a little color into the naming process, and some of us make the mistake of letting the kids pick their own names. And as a result, we have a "Tupac," "Fidel," "Jupiter," "Ruler," and "Line" among the students. American pop culture also has its toehold, and kids have named themselves "Harry Potter," "Michael Jackson," and "Bella," (from the Twilight series, for those of your who are seriously out of touch.)

Every once in a while, we suggest a name that the kids balk at but won't tell us why. That's when we rush to our Korean co-teachers who blushingly tell us that "Jill" mean "vagina," or that "Sheeba" is far too close to the Korean word for "fuck you." Oh, and "Maggie" means "catfish," and really, what girl wants to be saddled with that?

So, we giggle and continue to brainstorm. One day, you'll run into a Korean "Tupac" or "Octavian" and know that some young English teacher with too much time on his hands was up to no good.