Quirky Korea -- "Don't Die"

Here is just a little sampling of the random bits of Korean culture – some of which surprised me initially, and some of which continues to amuse/delight/frustrate the hell out of me.

Bad touch: Teachers would get arrested in the United States for the corporal punishment they inflict on these kids. Most of it is innocuous enough – a flick on the forehead or a poke – but I’ve seen Bossman Nick go to town on kids with his long ruler. There was one time he was bashing a kid’s head in with a textbook that I wanted to speak out and stop the abuse, but I knew it would only make things harder for me and the kid.

Good touch: This harsh, unsmiling Korean populous is actually very affectionate. Friends, young and old, male and female, walk down the street holding hands, arms wrapped around each other or linked together. Teachers frequently touch kids on the head or shoulder, even holding their hands as they walk down the hall – and I’m talking about teenagers here. Korean students have vocalized their confusion about why the foreign teachers don’t touch them. It’s because where we come from, we can get sued for doing so, I’ve tried to explain. Still, I’ve warmed up being cuddly with them, and they’ve responded wholeheartedly.

Student essays: Students, in turn, get away with stuff that would get them put under suicide watch, 24-hour surveillance or, at the very least, a trip to the guidance counselor’s office. A few of the most memorable entries:

“I want kill U.S. President Obama because he is black skin.”

“My new year’s resolution is to stop watch pornography because it dirties the soul and corrupts the mind.”

“I going blow up ECC. I put big bomb. Boom!” accompanied by a detailed drawing of the carnage that would ensue.

“Being a teenager in Korea is hell. All we do is study, study, study. We go to school and then more school. I want to die, so I don’t have to study. I want to kill myself. It is too hard.”

What do we do about these alarming student essays, we asked Bossman Nick.

“Oh nothing,” he said. “If you want, you can put a little note saying, ‘Don’t die.’”

Sigh …